She pulls CHRISTMAS round so that the bloodstain on his sleeve is clearly visible.

CHRISTMAS The woman’s mad! She tried to kill me!

MINNESOTA I didn’t, Chrissy. It was an accident, honest. You believe me, don’t you, Jerry?

JERRY Do I have any choice? We have six hours before we open, and you manage to accidentally stab the leading man in the arm...

CHRISTMAS She did it on purpose! You can’t believe a word she says! I’m not standing for this...

JERRY comes up onto the stage.

JERRY You’re not standing at all, old chap! Now for goodness’ sake, sit still and let’s get this sorted out. We’ll have to get him to a doctor.

CHRISTMAS How do you expect me to walk to a doctor while I’m bleeding to death?

JERRY We’ll fix that straight away. Natasha, get Jenna and the first aid kit. Xenia, get Joe. Tuesday, find Justin and get him here. Pronto! Minny, you... Stay where you are!

NATASHA exits SR. XENIA exits SL. TUESDAY exits onto floor of auditorium and wakes up JUSTIN. XENIA and JOE enter SL. Shortly afterwards, NATASHA and JENNA enter SR.

JENNA What’s happened? Why do you need the first aid kit? Oh my God, it’s Christmas!

JOE I think I’m going to be ill.

JOE faints and collapses on the floor.

JERRY Now we’ve got two of them!

Down in the auditorium, TUESDAY is struggling to get JUSTIN to understand.

JUSTIN Whasamatter? Can’t a fellow get any sleep round here? Do you know what time it is?

TUESDAY For pity’s sake, Justin. Wake up! This is important. Christmas has had an accident!

JUSTIN {still half asleep} What’s an accident?

TUESDAY He’s cut himself, rather badly.

JUSTIN Why doesn’t he use an electric shaver, like everyone else?